Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
