OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
