Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
