your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
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