I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Two words: nipple clamps
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