He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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