put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Come share oat with me in your robe
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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