You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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