I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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