Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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