i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize