Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize