I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
