how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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