Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize