I love black thongs
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I love you. Go after that dick
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
