I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
