id be glad to
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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