I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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