everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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