So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
