worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
