i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
