Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
