you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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