Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i think i have two assholes
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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