this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize