if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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