hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
