I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
