i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
