Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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