watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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