Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
