I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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