Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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