Christians are straight up FREAKS
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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