pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize