So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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