I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
