the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
