My room smells like vodka and shame
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
