do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
