i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I can't put those talents on a resume
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I did not marry a roomba.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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