she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
