Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Say something about gay babies.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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