I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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