I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
