Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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