remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
