I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's blow job season.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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