Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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