Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize