he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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