Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
