Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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