Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
40s are totally the cure
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
