And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
