Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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