I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
